Before marrying the love of my life. I never wanted to leave my home town. I went to college but I still lived at home. Becoming a military wife taught me to be able to adapt to change. Although for the most part we lived in Georgia, we still moved a lot. Being a military wife, I also had to learn to become patient. I use to hate waiting and wanted to know all the answers right away. The Army taught me that sometimes you have to hurry up and wait. I was changed for the better because I had to learn how to coupon and to save money on a limited budget. Also, when my husband was injured during a deployment, I was tested. I had to stand up and take care of the man that takes care of me. Being a military spouse has changed me into someone that can be more flexible when plans have to change because of the field, cq or staff duty. I am thankful that I have been able to support my husband in his line of duty.
I am not going to let my illness define me. It is a part of me, but it is not all of me. Some days, it wins the battle and keeps me down. It makes me tired, dizzy, blurs my vision. I have headaches constantly. I get sick to my stomach a lot. My eyes water and I zone out. Also I get a ton of pressure behind my eyes. I have pseudo tumor cerebri, also know as idiopathic intracranial hypotension. Basically, I have a fake brain tumor. I am fortunate that I deal with it a lot better than most people. I was just diagnosed. I found out my going to Walmart to get my vision checked. She noticed my optic nerve was swollen. She mentioned I should see a doctor. I went to my primary care physician, she referred me to a neurologist and a opthamologist. There they did tests and ran an mri. I am now doing nerve conductivity tests to make sure my nerves are responding accurately. They will be doing a lumbar punctuar in the future to test my pressure and hopefully release some of the fluid that is built up on my brain. There hasn’t been a lot of research done on this. At first I cried, I was nervous. But the worst I was told is that I can loose my vision. I have an amazing God. He will carry me through this. I have a wonderful husband who protects me and helps me as much as possible and I have a great family.
Besides this, I am also dealing with ptsd- If you don’t already know I was sexually molesting when I was first entering my teenage years by more than one guy. I still have nightmares. I
I also have anxiety.
I deal with pcos which stands for polycystic ovarian syndrome.
Finally I have hypertension which I have had since I was young.
I just had surgery on my foot because I decided to continue to play on a foot that was fractured and my bone moved downward and out, thus they had to put plates and screws in.
Yes, sometimes it’s hard for me to be that funny carefree Meg that I once was and trust me I miss her as much as the next person does. I’m doing the best that I can and I know that one day I can be in remission from this. I will not be shaken, sometimes I will be down but trust me I will not give up. I am not going to let this win, and keep me from having hope.
Over at Wives of Faith they are discussing the strangest things they have ever eaten. A few of mine would be cinnamon beef tips my ex-stepmother put the wrong spice on them, Wild boar, my husband is an avid hunter and let me just tell you I am not keen on anything with a game taste, he is still trying to get me there. But the strangest thing, I have ever eaten was fried worms. It was in the fifth grade. We had to do it for a school project and let’s just say as soon as I got it down it came right back up. So what strange things have you eaten?
Before I got married, I knew what I wanted to become. I wanted to teach theatre specifically or English. I may not have the best grammar but I love to read. When Josh and I got married I moved away and left the only world I had ever known. I was use to people giving up on me, leaving me and making promises they would never keep. Heck, I don’t even have one good friend from high school that I still communicate with regularly.
When I moved here something in my head said hmm… maybe you should become a criminal justice major, and then it was to teaching and then my most recent discovery was that I wanted to become a substance abuse worker. Let’s just say I have been around a few alcoholics and drug users in my life time.
I babysit during the week and in the evenings and on Sunday’s I actually work at a nursery at a Church. I love being around children, their playful imaginations just entrance me. The past couple years I have asked myself what am I good at?
I am caring, creative, funny, loving, tender hearted and usually a people person. I love being able to continue to learn. But, I am also bad at a ton of things. I am scared of failure, rejection, I am terrible at math, sometimes I can be shy and I have a huge problem with self-confidence. I have so many students loans as it is! How in the world can I pay for school? I wish there was some miracle that would pay for my school, if I did so many requirements.
God has plans for us, sometimes it is hard for us to see them. Sometimes we try to reject them. Am I saying this is the only thing God called me to do of course not, tomorrow could come and God could call me for something else. In our crazy and sickening world, I think that my loving heart could do a lot of good at a school. I want the children of today to know how amazing people can be, and how diverse we all are. Please continue praying for me through this journey. I won’t be able to attend school till Josh and I get settled somewhere or unless someone wants to make payments for me to attend school.
Love through Christ
You know what bugs me? The fact that our military is not recognized enough. These men and women give up their lives, they get injured, they go through so many things that we will never know. But do you see their faces on the television screen? No, we see celebrities that are doing drugs, and going to jail and everyone makes a big deal of it, because our society thinks that entertainment are our heroes. Why, doesn’t society realize that many men and women are serving our country because they want to, they are protecting us. We loose so many service members every day, but minus by their families and friends, our country doesn’t recognize them. They are names to them. When budget cuts need to be made who are the first to get their paychecks taking away? The military, that is fighting all hours for us. They don’t get to sleep in warm beds all the time, they are missing their children growing up, and half the people in this country could care less. I hope America, starts realizing that are service men and women need our prayers, they need our support. Don’t be one more statistic out there, be thankful to these men and women.
Tonight, Josh and I watched the Genesis code. I have grew up attending church, whereas Josh did not. He went some but not every sunday. I have had a few times where I indeed questioned my faith. It’s hard when non-believers throw science in your face, science has many facts and theories. We Christians have the Bible, it is our everything, we read it and we try to live it, to the best that we can. In the Genesis code, a scientist explains how the 6 days of time could equal the same amount of time scientist say the earth was built in. I just think this is truly a great movie to see.
I married Josh in June of 2009, 3 weeks after I had turned 20. I had finished my sophmore year of college at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. My plans had been to enroll full time in a University in Georgia. Life happened and I ended up enrolling in Central Texas college and went to the branch at the education center. In december I finished my last class I needed for my associates. I know what is an associates when you should of had your bachelors. Well, it is important to me because so many people didn’t think I would even get that far when I got married. I was suppose to start at Columbia College this month. The cost for me to take those two classes would be 1,444 Instate tution at UNCG is 3098$ for a full course load, so I can take 15 credits hours at double the amount for two classes. When Josh gets out of the army, we plan on living with his mom for a little while and then moving close to my hometown. Hopefully Josh will have a job lined up and I can work around school. I am already going to be paying for loans from uncg. In this time that I am taking off, I hope to be able to study the Bible more and hopefully I will find out what my true calling is. I plan to start working on a budget, and to be a better wife to my husband and help him with his studying while he is taking classes. I am not sure where I will end up, but we have an amazing God. I have an amazing family, that will support me on this journey. In the past I have regretted getting married so early, because I didn’t finish college. I wouldn’t take marrying Josh back for anything. Yes, we were young and we barely knew each other, but at the end of the day he makes me laugh.I will see you all on the flipside!